I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Come see our sink grown plant.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
