I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize