Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
