Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
