Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
