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We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
