Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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