i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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