if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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