His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
