Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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