I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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