she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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