I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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