a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
this will be a night to untag.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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