What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
my liver is dry heaving
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
