His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
