sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
