and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Randomize