I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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