I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
