If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize