My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
