I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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