take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
