I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
