Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
