That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
