just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
