You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
