i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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