I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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