I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
accomplished twins. life is a go
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
