In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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