I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
