Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
