but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
