Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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