i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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