Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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