It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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