i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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