seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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