Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
