Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Enjoy the penises
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
