He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
