GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
