Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
