Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
