Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We are two peas in an std pod
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
