I think my vagina is haunted
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
