Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
