I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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