fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My orgasm happened in two different decades
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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