Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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