he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
