the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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