What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
