What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
