I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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