Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
