yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize