I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
