Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
