marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My first STD was from a foam party
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
