Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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